Det,
Glad you're liking JFBConnect. We work hard on it, so it's always great to hear the feedback in addition to subscribing, which means a ton to us!
Login With Facebook This text can be changed in the language file, /languages/en-GB/en-gb.com_jfbconnect.ini. Look for LOGIN WITH FACEBOOK= and change the right hand side to "Login" and it should look how you want it.
Logout We don't have an easy way to hide the logout button when using the module. You can either modify the module's template, or you can try the { JFBCLogin} tag (no spaces). If you put that tag anywhere on your site (in a module, template, article, etc), it will be converted to the Login button automatically. Once a user is logged in, it will automatically hide itself (no logout button). This may give you additional flexibility should you want it.
Reconnection text I believe this is in the language file as well. Check for it similarly to above, and if it's there.. just make the right-hand side of the line blank. That should remove it from showing. If it's not there, let us know and I'll investigate further.
XFBML Hmmm. We may have to test a little more, but we also need a little more info about what you're doing. Are you creating a complete Canvas app, on Facebook.com, or is this a page hosted on your site? Is it possible to send us the URL for us to see what's happening? Regarding your code snippet, the top portion should not be required, as JFBConnect should insert something very similar which may cause a conflict. Try searching the HTML output for 'all.js', it should only be there once. More than that can be bad.
After you've resolved that, let us know if that helps the resize code. If not, we'll test more (your URL will really help us recreate what you're doing as well). Either way, we'll do what we can to get you going!
Thanks again,
Alex