Where are you seeing the error message you posted above? Is that when you click the Requests link, or somewhere else? We haven't seen that before, and it's likely something you'd need to contact Facebook about, as it seems like a restriction they've placed on your account.
For the pending requests, that could be because of the notice you mention. There's also an update for JFBConnect coming out next week (4.1.2) which changes the Requests a little due to a bug in Facebook which doesn't let us mark Requests as 'Read' if the user hasn't already authenticated through your application. We're hoping they fix it soon, but until then, the Request counter will be off.
Hope that explains,
Alex